If there’s the cover, where is the confession? Ok, ok. Here we go:
Soon I will release “Blind”, another short following Edison, a boy with mechanical eyes. Some people may argue that it is dark YA. Others with say it is definitely science fiction, coming of age, and heavily meditates on what it means to be an artist or choosing one’s own path in the face of adversity. I’m sure people will talk about my lack of genre conformity, just as they have for the last two works that I published.
At least, this is the dialogue I’m hoping for.
Because I confess I’m very nervous that there will be a different dialogue completely. That people will talk about how this is different than Dying for a Living and “Dive”, but not in a good way. They may even call it the worst thing I’ve ever written—which I assure you is not true, as NONE of you have (or ever will) read my high school poetry notebooks.
But I think releasing new work is always nerve-wracking and always pulling on those ol’ heart strings of doubt. So I wanted to confess upfront that I am worried about how my readers will receive my new work, just like everyone else out there who is facing the odds and publishing.
But I’m also determined to publish what I write for better or worse. Even if I know some of you won’t like “Blind” as much as “Dive” or Dying for a Living. Or because some of you will like it more.
I’m beginning to realize as a writer, my only job is to transcribe the weird *&^% from my head onto the page and then to put it out there regardless of the consequences. But for anyone who has written anything, it is harder to do than it sounds. And I have to accept this doubt may never go away. I keep waiting for it to get easier--after one more positive review, one more gushing fan, one more good writing day--but it isn't getting easier. So I have to accept this possible truth:
Publishing will never be easy.
After all, I’ve listened to/watched/read enough writer interviews from Gaiman, King and the like, who regardless of the years of practice they have under their belt, continually voice the same hesitations.
But they succeeded—despite the acclaim or criticism—because they published anyway, whatever the emotional, physical, or financial obstacles. They published anyway.
And that is my new personal goal—to publish anyway.
Any way I can.