(Day 4 of my November Journaling Challenge!)
With all this introspection, I'm becoming super aware of something:
For someone who is a writer, I sure to try my damnedest not to write!
The King says that the scariest moment in writing is right before you start, and that must be true. After all, I sure am proficient at not starting. There are many people out there with crazy work schedules, children/family, or any number of things that interfere with their writing time. I wish I could say the same. But the fact is that I worked really hard the last couple of years to carve out a schedule that was conducive to writing.
But then what do I do?
I go and find 10,000,000 ways to procrastinate! Here are a few examples that I've recorded just from the last couple of days:
I just woke up but god, I'm tired. Let's take a nap.
I'm not ready to get out of bed yet, what can I do on my phone?What's happening on Twitter?
Yes, before eating, I should absolutely reprogram the thermostat. Yay, energy savings!
Sure, all the couch cushions need to removed, vaccuumed of dog hair and replaced.
What will my neighbors think of me if I do not bag ALL THE LEAVES and put them on the curb
neatly in little brown bags?
Who else is going to sort this recycling!?
I wonder what <insert random friend> is doing right now. *types out all the texts*
God, I'm hungry. Is chocolate a breakfast food?
You are right, I should absolutely google this very moment what Shiloh (Brangelina's cutest baby!) is up too.
I need to make a facebook post about my cute Halloween costume
The dog looks sad. *Cuddle time*
When was the last time I watered the plants?
I hate that this handle wiggles...where is my toolbox?
Why is everything so disorganized in this basement? *clean, clean, clean*
Oh, it looks like I have enough to do a load of laundry--almost--*washes all the things*
God, I'm hungry again but too lazy to cook. Where are the chips and salsa?
Man, I've been eating unhealthy today--where are my vitamins?
I haven't been out of the house in two days. Maybe I should sit outside for awhile.
Fuck it was cold out there. I should take a hot shower.
Oh my god, Kim will be home in two hours! I'll never get anything done once she comes home!
Ok, I need really need to write something. *Turns on music*
God I love this song. *starts jamming and googling*
Rereads last sessions writing--"Oh that's right--I really need to research craft beer"
2 hours later...Rogue, definitely. He will drink Rogue. *makes note*
Wrote one sentence...Crap, forgot to walk the dog.
Friend finally replies to texts sent this morning. Must respond to all the texts!
Oh crap, I forgot to check my students/online classes today and it's already like 6PM--they must be freaking out.
**does all the emailing/grading**
Oh man, where was I? *Rereads one sentence written today* "This is a terrible sentence. *Deletes.*
*Goes to see what the dog is barking about*
Opens all the mail/packages.
Oh man I have one hour to write! The blog post counts, right?
So this is example of "A Day in the Life Of..." is pretty accurate unfortunately. But what does it say about me? If I find everything to do but write, does this mean I don't want to be a writer? I truly feel like it is my purpose--the thing I do best--but what does it mean when I do everything but? I should get up in the morning and walk straight from the bed to the desk and write my 2000 words, rewarding myself with food only after I've completed this most important task. But I seem unable to do this. But why...why?